The maid of honor just puked.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
