what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
