Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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