He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
