dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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