You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
