Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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