Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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