She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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