Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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