Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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