Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
