you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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