So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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