Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
