so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The Olympian is in my bed
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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