My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
