we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
