He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
