We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
