Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Randomize
