Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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