worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
