I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
