Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
