Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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