I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
