I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
