porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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