I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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