And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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