Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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