How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
