Your mouth is God's brothel.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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