best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize