So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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