And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
