He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
