Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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