the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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