me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
