The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
