It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
