My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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