I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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