If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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