Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize