In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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