I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Randomize
