so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
