Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
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