so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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