So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
