the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
