Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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