Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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