They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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