So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
