hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
