Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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