But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
