I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
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