She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
