If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
