The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
