He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
